Am I Called Blessed Yet?

These days, 
life is moving
at break-neck speed.
Life is chock full
of endless to do lists.

Most everything in my life
has taken a back seat
to home education
and seminary work
and keeping in touch
with far-away family not well.

I haven't watched a movie 
in who knows how long.
Netflix is a distant memory.
I've forgotten to even wonder
if the last season of White Collar
is available to add to the
instant que.
And that's another thing - 
it's not the instant que anymore.
The nomenclature is now "My List".
But I digress.

Life is busy. full. tiring.
Every night, after kids are covered up and kissed, 
I climb down the stairs 
and open up my books and read.
And write forum posts.
And read some more.
And take quizzes.

Somewhere along the way 
I write lesson plans for homeschool.
And sometimes I talk to my husband.
Lately there's been lots to discuss 
and ponder 
and process.

And it's hard.
And it's not.
Seminary work is wonderfully exhausting.
So is home education.
So is ministry.
So is parenting.
So is marriage.

Most of the time, 
I don't miss the superfluous episodes of Park and Recreation
that leave a trail of happy tears down my cheeks.
Most of the time, 
I am content to know there is plenty of work to fill my days and nights.
Most of the time, 
I am okay to admit that while my online assignments get done, 
my children are running out of clean underwear.
(Although, it's laundry week so it's all good.)
Most of the time, 
I will gladly nod my head and confirm while I have been teaching
my children about attentiveness,
and skip counting by 9,
and the eating habits of the Inuit tribe, 
the tub sits dirty for another day. 

These days, 

life is moving

at break-neck speed.

Life is chock full

of endless to do lists.
And yet life is good.
God is good.
And I am very thankful. 

Her children arise and call her blessed...

Proverbs 31:28a

Jillian Michaels and Seminary

In Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred DVD,
in the middle of infuriating squats and strength exercises,
she says this profound statement:

Stress brings change.

I literally stopped in the middle of the workout.
I was dumbfounded.
(And perhaps my thighs were screaming for a short respite).
Still, I was immediately struck.

Stress brings change.

It's true for our physical bodies.
It's true for our emotional selves too.
And for our mental growth.
And for our spiritual journeys.

Stress brings change.

It's not guaranteed change for the better.
But the fact is, when stress shows up on the scene, 
stress will not leave us the same.

I've begun work on an online master's degree.
Seminary work to be exact.
And classes started this week.

In five days, I...

read 94 pages in 4 different books

wrote 7 forum posts (substantive responses only, please)

listened to 1 lecture

took 1 quiz

sent 2 (slightly panicky) e-mails to professors

I can't tell you how many times I wanted a paper sack.
Hyperventilate is not just a word for Martha Speaks.
Stress, he's been a constant companion of mine.
(If stress were personified I don't really know what gender it'd be, 
but after this week, I'm not in the mood to say stress is female.)

Yet in all this, I remember Jillian Michaels, and her words.

Stress brings change.

After all this work, I will be changed.
I pray it is for the better.
I pray this stress of further study is not wasted, 
brings improvement, 
draws me closer to God, 
deepens my understanding of faith, 
connects me with others who enrich my journey.

Stress brings change.

So, I'll load up on paper sacks.
and I will welcome stress,
especially if he brings desired change.