How's your joy?

That's what my husband asked me tonight...how's your joy?

He knows I struggle with that - finding joy. Keeping it around. Holding on to it. 

I am no stranger to fighting for joy. My muscles have been well-toned the last few years in the battle for even a scrap of it. But this friend of mine, joy, can be slippery and elusive.

So, after staring at him, mentally scurrying for an answer, here's what I said...

"Well, I don't know. 
I have joy more often. 
And I have it for longer these days. 
And when I lose it, I find it faster.
So that's something."

I wish I could have a different answer. One that erases any cloud of sadness, confusion, or dread. I don't. Maybe one day I will. Or maybe my answer will stay the same.

Regardless, this heart clings to the One who gives me hope that all joy will be fully restored one day.