Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Presence (Revisiting My Word for the Year )

Busyness is an enemy to presence.
It robs me of now.
It keeps me focused on everything but the present moment.
A tyrant hoarding life, not doling it out.

And yet, if I'm honest, 
to plant myself in the weight of this moment,
to be focused only on the present,
requires a whole heck of a lot of energy.

And so, 
I offer gaunt effort to be firmly engaged in the now,
and realize
even in my attempt at presence
busyness has taken it's toll.

That's what happens when I am used to busy.
I find myself exhausted at the practice of presence.
And that just seems ludicrous.
To exhaust myself 
simply because 
I enter fully into the current moment.

Surely I must be living life
upside down
or inside out
for that reality to be so.

When was the last time I had to practice busyness?
It's not really a discipline I must learn.
It seems to find me.
And wraps it's fingers fast around my heart.
And squeeze.

So often, that which feeds my soul
is not what comes easily, 
or naturally.

I've short-circuited myself
in the pursuit of 
and productivity
and meaning.

When all along 
the answer to all these things 
lie in being present.

So, today, why not try being present?
breathe in
breathe out
make eye contact
think before words tumble out
check less e-mail
refuse to make a to-do list
laugh a bit
laugh a lot
play uno
take a nap
revel in nature
really smile
read a good book
or the Good Book
color in fluorescents
say yes more 
or say no more
dance big to a loud song

It's a right-side up 
way to think
when I realize
the journey
is just as important
as where I land
and what I accomplish.

Maybe, just maybe, 
I can be more 
by doing less.

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