Saturday, July 13, 2013

What Pandora Showed Me About Faith

I stood staring at the Kindle screen.
A song played on my Kari Jobe channel.
I liked the song...I thought.
Until I went over to press the thumbs up icon.
And then, I froze.

photo credit:

Just standing and staring.
And debating.

Do I really like this song well enough to press like?
If I do press that pesky little thumbs up,
this will impact every other song 
Pandora's formulated program will choose for me on this channel?
What if the domino effect of liking this song 
brings forth a flood of future songs I don't like?
What if I could avoid said future songs by pressing thumbs down?
Or better yet, wouldn't it just be better 
to not press any hand related symbol at all?
Yeah, that's it.
I will just let the song play and Pandora won't know my opinion.
But what if no opinion still impacts the play list to come?

I know. 
This sounds ridiculous.
Me being paralyzed by free internet radio
named for a mythological box 
that unleashed all kinds of evil.
But it happened...
last night...
while I was sorting darks and lights.

And in that moment of indecision,
I could see myself clearly.
This debilitating process of no-win decision making 
is something to which I subject myself far too often.
The what ifs and unknown implications of any and every decision.

The fact is, we have no idea 
how any one decision will impact the whole of a life.
The fact is, we have no idea 
what the cumulative effect 
of many seemingly insignificant decisions 
will have on the trajectory of a life.
The fact is, it's not for us to know.

But what ifs still bombard the mind.
Indecision still rears its ugly head.
Paralysis still reigns as decision maker.

And standing with Pandora today
made me realize how very thankful I am for faith.

A faith that says... 
- i don't have to know how it will all work out.

-there is One whose thoughts are higher than my thoughts.

trusting God leads to victory.

- i belong to Abba.

- be bold and take a step -
      even when it's dark;
         even when it might not make sense;
            even when the implications are not known;

- if i seek, i will find.

- i am loved -
      no matter what;
         for all my days.

chin up.

- my Help lies in the hills.

nothing is behind redemption -
         absolutely nothing;
            even really dumb choices;
               even the choice to do nothing out of fear.

Even when I don't know how my choices will change tomorrow, it's ok.
I don't have to fear my choices or their implications.
Not when I am walking in faith.

Now this doesn't really help with my Pandora panic, 
but it does put it in perspective.
Next time, I am determined to not back down 
when faced with a thumbs up/thumbs down choice.
I will pick one, press the touch screen, smile
and remember I can celebrate the choosing.
Not just with music but in all of life.

Faith lets me do that.

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